


Love at First Heartbreak

by nat_97liner



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Boys fighting, M/M, Make-up, Multi, Trans Male Character, friendship! but gay!, mostly jisung and hyunjin oops sorry!, so boyfriendship!, they're boyfriends okay?, this first work is spacy as shit but linear, trans!jisung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-06-27 00:57:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19779958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nat_97liner/pseuds/nat_97liner
Summary: I'm back! I said I would be. Here's the first work in a series I'll have for yall. Please give me good feedback. Enjoy! Uhm? also the titles? Bare with me? It might change?





	1. In Which Hyunjin and Jisung are the Epitome of Teen Angst

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! I said I would be. Here's the first work in a series I'll have for yall. Please give me good feedback. Enjoy! Uhm? also the titles? Bare with me? It might change?

**I**

Minho and Jisung had gathered the members in the living room to tell them they were dating. Had been for almost a month actually. It had been no easy feat dating as idols. Sneaking breathless kisses after practice, softly touching hair and hold hands in the car, exchanging winks and glances, it never was enough for the boys. No, not easy at all. Both had bouncing legs and heavy hearts, but when they finally relayed the information, it didn’t seem to bother the other members much at all. 

“Guys this is great! Really we’re all happy for you!” Felix commented, bringing in Jisung for a hug. The boy was shocked. Felix seemed to be the most excited. Minho looked at Jisung; a surprised smile plastered on his face. He wrapped his arm around the younger boy. 

“Yeah, it’s about time really. You two are perfect for each other.” Jisung blushed at Chan’s kind words. The leader patted Minho’s knee and got up to retrieve a drink from the kitchen. All the other members erupted in smiles around them, congratulating Minho and Jisung for taking a leap of faith. Really, it all seemed like it was going to work out. Save for one minor, okay  _ major, _ detail. Jisung was trans. And he neglected to tell the other members including his boyfriend. He had major hang ups with telling anyone. Only his parents knew, and his relationship with them wasn’t the best. How would it be if he told them? Minho? Regardless, Jisung forced these thoughts away and settled for asking Chan if he could hand him a drink as well. While he settled into the couch between Minho and Changbin, he noticed that Minho, his boyfriend, was willing to get close to him, to rub his thigh. Jisung’s neck was scarlet as he knocked his shoulder against Minho’s, simultaneously asking for more and less.

They were all beginning to cozy up in the living room, ready to watch some form of entertainment or another. Chan and Hyunjin decided that if they’d all be watching something, they'd better grab snacks and drinks for everyone. After sometime, Hyunjin walked into the room, his footfalls were harder than usual. Woojin noticed Hyunjin’s severely deflated look first. 

“Hyunjin, you look sour. What’s wrong?” Woojin asked concerned. Come to think of it, Jisung hadn’t remembered Hyunjin congratulating his new relationship either. It seemed a bit odd, since Hyunjin was the most clingy and supportive. Hyunjin looked up from the bowl of popcorn he had been carrying, finally acknowledging Woojin’s question. He chewed on a mouthful of the salty snack, in thought. 

“Oh, maybe he’s jealous.” Jeongin joked, poking Hyunjin’s side. Hyunjin blushed and swallowed thickly, moving away from the youngest’s prodding finger. 

“I’m not jealous!” He sunk in his seat, beside Jeongin, but put a pillow between them to keep distance. Jisung watched the scene unfold, wondering if there was really something there behind Hyunjin’s flustered eyes.

**II**

Jisung was stressed. Now that the members knew about their relationship, things had gotten a little easier. However, Hyunjin was giving him the cold shoulder. He couldn’t understand why. They had fought before, sure, but things always worked out in the end. He just couldn’t understand why he was ignoring him  _ now. _ Not even giving him the light of day. Only communicating when absolutely necessary. Had he done something? Taken something or broken something on accident? Not only was this causing stress on his mental and emotional body, but his physical body as well. His muscles were tight, back aching. Jisung, however, refused to seek outside help for his stresses. He was afraid of being judged and not being able to complete simple tasks on his own. The stress of Hyunjin, being away from home, a tour, it was making him quick to anger. He knew he was becoming snappier toward Minho and the other members as well. He knew he should be more considerate, since this tour was making everyone tense, but he couldn’t help it. Minho took the brunt of the abuse. He knew he was being a dick, he just couldn’t bring himself to care enough to do anything about it. 

Currently, Minho and Jisung sat in their hotel room, resting. Minho spoke up first from his side of the bed. Of course they got a room with a double bed in case someone looked into it, but there really was no use for two. Minho sat up on his knees on the bed and began to massage Jisung’s shoulders. The touch should have made his pain ease away, but it somehow only made him tense more. 

“Baby why don’t we-”

“No. I don’t want to. I’m busy.” Jisung sighed out. He was content doing what he was right now. Writing lyrics in bed. And he was prepared to do so all night. 

“You didn’t even let me finish asshole. Whatever. I’ll go watch a movie with the other guys.” Minjo sprung up and left the room. Not even entertaining the idea of letting Jisung get another word out. The rapper heard his boyfriend whip the door clothes and then heard a knock on the door opposite theirs. He was sad to hear him being let in by Chan and Changbin. As soon as he heard the final door click shut, Jisung shut his laptop and slid it angrily toward the end of the bed, and burst into tears. 

**III**

The following morning, the boys initiated their grueling practice for the first concert in the states. When Jisung woke up Minho was still in Chan and Changbin’s room. He sighed frustratedly wishing he was there with him. He struggled to pull himself out of bed. A soft knock came at the door. 

“Yea?” He spoke, voice covered in sleep. 

“Hyung?” It was I.N. on the other side. “Start getting ready for warm ups, we’re meeting downstairs in the lobby.” He said softly. Jisung mumbled loud enough to let Jeonin know he had heard him. Jisung picked up his phone on the way to the bathroom and noticed a message from Seungmin. 

_ Sorry about ur fight with Minho hyung~  _

There was a string of three clenched teeth emojis after the message. Jisung sighed exasperated as he turned on the shower and started taking off his clothes. He knew he should take a good look at himself in the mirror, but he couldn’t bare to see how red his eyes were or be reminded of what is body looked like. 

As he washed himself, he thought about Seungmin’s message. News travels fast between nine boys. 

“Fuck, does everyone know?” He questioned out loud, finally stepping out of the shower. Now, not only was Hyunjin mad at him, but Minho was too. And the worst part was everyone new it. Jisung tried to push away these thoughts and instead focus on finished getting ready, and meeting up with his members in the lobby. He arrived, most of the members already there, besides Chan, Minho, and Changbin. 

“They should be down in a bit.” Jeongin greeted Jisung with a small smile. Woojin came up to them and hugged Jisung.

“Hyung really?” 

“I know, just letting you know I’m here for you.” Jisung rolled his eyes and turned to see the remaining members coming down the hotel stairs. Minho brushed passed him and was out the door before he even knew it. Jisung sighed. He put his headphones in his ears and followed the other members out to the van. 

Once at the venue, they got to work practicing their songs and choreos. Despite not talking, Jisung still had to take direction from Minho in an attempt to shape up his choreo, and he loathed it. 

“Jisung, just…” Minho stopped in thought, too out of breath to speak. “Just keep it tighter okay?” Jisung rolled his eyes, hoping his hat covered it up. He just nodded and the music started again from where they left off. Almost immediately, Jisung got distracted by his own thoughts and knocked himself against Hyungjin who stumbled. The music stopped again, the members standing around frustrated.

“Dude what the fuck is your problem?” Hyunjin spat, clearly thinking Jisung’s misstep was more than just an accident. Jisung stood still, looking hurt. He eyed Hyunjin. He was done. Absolutely done with all the bullshit. His eyes narrowed into slits as he stared at Hyunjin’s accusatory gaze. 

“What’s my problem? You haven’t fucking talked to me in a week yet you always act like you have something to say! So just say it huh?!” Jisung spoke informally, agitating Hyunjin who just stared for a minute, breath caught in his throat. Without speaking, he turned and left the stage. Jisung was left panted, his members oggling. 

“What did I do?” He whispered softly to himself. He turned to look at Minho and spoke more clearly. “W-what did I do?”

Minho looked the most surprised by Jisung’s outburst. He hadn’t known his boyfriend was hurting so bad. While Chan ran after Hyunjin, Minho touched Jisung’s fingers with a light hand letting him know he was going in for a hug. Jisung melted, shoulders slumped forward, head low, as he started crying. Minho wrapped him in a tight embrace. The other members stood, stunned into silence, not knowing what to do.

**IV**

His heart was practically in his throat. HIs hands trembled as he knocked on the door, almost too afraid to do just that. He knocked softly, and almost too soon, Minho was at the door. He smiled, but looked a little surprised.

“Oh babe, it’s just you. You don’t have to knock you know? We’re dating. If anyone doesn’t have to knock before coming into my space it’s you.” Minho laughed genuinely, Jisung nervously.

Minho walked back to his spot on the bed, where he’d been scrolling through his phone.

“Minho. I..have something to tell you.” Jisung let out a shaky breath. He had every right to be nervous. He figured now was as good a time as any. They had all made it back safe and sound to Korea after many taxing weeks in the US. No one had confronted him about his outburst toward Hyunjin during their practice. It seemed so far away now. Everyone had considered it water under the bridge and didn’t give it much thought after it happened. Hyunjin had been nicer, but their relationship was nowhere near where it had been when they first came together as a group. It hurt Jisung, but being back home seemed to lift everyone’s moods. Everyone was less tense now they were on familiar ground. Minho was especially happy to be back at the dorm with his friends, even visited his family as soon as they touched Korean soil. Minho looked up from his phone and smiled at his boyfriend. He adjusted himself on the bed and grabbed Jisung’s arm gently, guiding him to sit beside him. Jisung was snapped harshly back to reality. He had almost forgotten what he came here to talk about. 

“Sure what’s up.” Jisung let out a shaky breath. He found that his words were stuck in his throat. Nothing would come out. 

“I’m s-sorry. This is hard.” Jisung rubbed his sweaty palms against his jeans and let out a nervous laugh. 

“Baby are you okay?” Minho asked concerned, tossing his phone on the bed.

“Minho do you love me?” The boy looked shocked that Jisung would even ask such a question. 

“Of course I love you why would-” Jisung didn’t give him time to finish instead just blurted out what was bothering him the most. 

“I’m trans.” Minho was shocked. First and foremost because Jisung had cut him off, and secondly because his hearing was awful and the mess of their voices coming together mid-air made it sound like Jisung said “I’m in tracks.” Minho leaned forward inquisitive. 

“What?” he asked. Jisung should his head. 

“Nevermind. This was stupid.” Jisung began to get up, but Minho stopped him with a hand on his thigh.

“Baby no I really just didn’t hear you. Can you please repeat it?” He squeezed Jisung’s thigh and gave him a soft encouraging smile. 

“I’m trans.”  _ Oh _ Minho thought. Surely that can’t be all. He waited for Jisung to continue. He watched him with bright hopeful eyes. When Jisung didn’t speak again he inquired.

“Is...baby is that it?” Now it was Jisung’s turn to act surprised. 

“Is that it? Is that IT?!?! Aren’t you grossed out, concerned, do you wanna break up now?” Minho couldn't help but smile. It was always kinda funny whenever Jisung was trying to be mad or whenever he got really anxious. His voice got high pitched and his ears got all pink. 

“Baby are you a boy?” Minho asked, smiling widely.

“W-well yea but-” 

“And aren’t you my BOYfriend?”

“Yea, but I don’t under-” Jisung was stunned at Minho’s bluntness.

“Then what’s the matter? I appreciate you for telling me, but I would have found out one way or another. And you being a transgender man doesn’t change the fact that I love you or that you are infact a man. I love you dingus. Is that what had you so wound up while we were traveling?” Jisung’s shoulders sunk, a huge relief falling from his tense body like a downpour of rain. 

“Yea. That and Hyunjin has been so cold to me lately. I think about that a lot.” Minho nodded.

“I understand. He’s been like that with me too. I wonder w-” There was a knock at the door, but whoever it was didn’t wait for a response before popping his head in. Jisung and Minho’s glances shot to the door. They were surprised to find Hyunjin there, looking sweaty and defeated. His face flushed in embarrassment. He cleared his throat before speaking. 

“C-can we talk?” Jisung and Minho glanced at each other then back to Hyunjin before inviting him in. 


	2. In Which Hyunjin Confesses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunjin brushed the sweat that had collected on his palms on his pants. He raised his hand to rap on the door and before even thinking, did it. Hyunjin winced at himself.
> 
> “Idiot.” He mumbled under his breath. Despite himself, Hyunjin began to crack open the door. He popped his head in and saw Minho sitting with Jisung on his bed. Now, Hyunjin was really flustered and caught off guard. He only needed to talk to Minho so that he could let Jisung know how he felt. I’m in deep shit. He thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter was really well received so here's chapter two! Please enjoy it and let me know if you did in the comments below! Thank you and enjoy! :D

Hyunjin stood at the door, not really sure if it was best to knock on it. It’s just that over the past month he hadn’t uttered a word to Jisung save for the fight they had during their practice stage. He was bothered by...  _ this  _ whole thing. Bothered that they were together. Bothered that Minho got to Jisung first. Bothered that he wasn’t with them both. He had no outlet for his anger and so he lashed out, hurting rather than helping his relationship with Jisung. And his anger didn’t help much with the others members either. His cold demeanor over the past month shifted his relationship with everyone. Chan was more calculated and stern with him. Seungmin only gave him small exchanges, afraid he’d piss Hyunjin off. Hyunjin was getting sick of it. He had isolated himself, he dug his own grave and now it was time to lay in it. 

Hyunjin brushed the sweat that had collected on his palms on his pants. He raised his hand to rap on the door and before even thinking, did it. Hyunjin winced at himself.

“Idiot.” He mumbled under his breath. Despite himself, Hyunjin began to crack open the door. He popped his head in and saw Minho sitting with Jisung on his bed. Now, Hyunjin was really flustered and caught off guard. He only needed to talk to Minho so that he could let Jisung know how he felt.  _ I’m in deep shit. _ He thought.

“Uhm,” he fumbled. “Can we talk?” Jisung and Minho gaped at the boy, but agreed, ushering him in. Hyunjin almost tripped over his own feet having half expected to be rejected. He cracked the door wider and padded in. Jisung found that he couldn’t breath. When he tried it fumbled in his throat. A sweat broke out on his forehead. Hyunjin sat at Minho’s desk, but the eldest shook his head.

“Nuh uh. Here. Sit next to me.” Minho squeezed himself closer to Jisung, practically in his lap. Jinsung flushed, Hyunjin gulped. He accepted the offer and sat next to Minho who seemed all too happy to have two boys in his bed. 

“We were just talking about you actually. And some other important stuff too.” Minho peaked at Jisung who gave him a look that suggested ‘Really? Why would you even say that!?’ Jisung whacked Minho’s arm. Hyunjin perked up at the mention of their conversation.

“O-oh really? What about?” Minho looked to Jisung again. Jisung reared his hand as if to hit him again if he misspoke. Minho looked away and coughed awkwardly. Jisung answered Hyunjin.

“It’s nothing I promise we’ll tell you later. What did you wanna talk about Hyunjin?” Jisung asked, covering his own ass since Minho was unlikely to do so. 

“Oh I uh…” Hyunjin licked his lips. His mouth was terribly dry. “I wanted to apologize for being so cold to you two over the past couple of months. I was… upset over this whole thing.” He finished, looking down at his own lap. Minho and Jisung exchanged glances. 

“Upset?” Jisung asked. “About what?” Hyunjin panicked. He couldn’t think of anything to say. Minho rested a supportive hand on his shoulder. 

“I- I just didn’t have the guts to tell you then and fu- I really fuckin’ should have.” Both Minho and Jisung leaned forward in anticipation. 

“Hyunjin?” Jisung asked, begging the older to look at him. “What did you want to tell us?” There was no more hiding it. He might as well have already said it. Minho had that knowing smile on his face. Stupid, cocky, annoying. Hyunjin wanted to kiss it right off of him. Hyunjin sighed a deep breath and looked slightly away from them. 

“I was jealous because… I like both of you.” The room went silent. So silent in fact they actually heard their fridge running from the kitchen. Jisung’s pupils dilated, his brows knitted together in anger. 

“What?!” He stood up and shoved Hyujin. He fell to the floor where Jisung mounted him and started slapping at Hyunjin. The boy used his hands to protect his face while Jisung continued delivering miniscule slaps to his forearms, sides, and scalp. He continued angrily, 

“Two whole FUCKING MONTHS OF YOU PISSED AT ME JUST BECAUSE YOU COULDN’T COME OUT AND SAY YOU LIKED US?! whY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING ASSHOLE!?” By now Minho was standing up, lips pursed together to keep from laughing at Jisung’s attempts to hurt Hyunjin. 

“Baby alright come on I think he gets it. You’ve exacted your payback. Get up.” Minho all but dragged a breathless Jisung off of Hyunjin who laid staring up at the ceiling, wishing he’d just gone to bed instead of telling his two bandmates he was pining for them. Jisung gave a few feeble kicks at Hyujin’s shins, hoping he at least bruised the stubborn boy. Jisung was sweating, his shirt rumpled up above his belly button due to Minho’s incessant pulling. He fiercely tugged it back down while pushing Minho off of him. Hyunjin covered his dick with one hand and tried to lift himself from the floor with the other. 

“Please Jisung. Fu-I.. just hear me out.” Hyunjin panted rearing for another hit even though Minho had Jisung in his arms. The frightened boy got up and pushed back his disheveled hair. 

“Jisung can you...sit down. You’re terrifying me.” Jisung raised his fist in the air, Hyunjin flinched.

“You should be! What the hell Hyunjin?!” Hyunjin flinched. 

“I-I’m sorry okay! I didn’t know how you two would react so I just kept it to myself. I know I shouldn’t have. I jeopardized the integrity of our group and that was foolish of me please just...I wanna make things right.” Minho nodded. He had finally coaxed Jisung into a chair in the corner of the room. Jisung had tears in his eyes.

“I just..you’re jealous? You could have asked us! We could have talked about this Hyunjin why?! We could have saved our asses two months of agonizing pain and beating around the bush jesus christ.” Jisung raised his hands exasperated. 

“I know,” Hyunjin hung his head. “How can I make it up to you? Really I-”

“Date us.” Minho interrupted. The bickering boys looked at Minho disgustedly.

“What?” Hyunjin and Jisung uttered at the same time. Minho smirked in appreciation of his dumb best friends. 

“This psycho almost broke the band up with two months of his pissy whining.” Jisung informed Minho. 

“And your  _ boyfriend _ tried to kill me in a slapping match literally two seconds ago.” Hyunjin added, thinking his reason was better.

“You deserved it to be honest.” Jisung argued. Hyunjin rolled his eyes and pushed his hair back angrily.

“The hell I did! I was just trying to explain something but you weren’t having it!” The boys continued to testify against each other while Minho watched, hands on his hips. He smiled to himself as if there was nothing to be concerned about. He knew there wasn’t, it was just like old times. He interjected their bickering,

“See? It’s like you’re dating already.” Minho added with an excited grin. 

“Shut up!” They yelled simultaneously. The angry boys turned to Minho, chests heaving. 

“See!? There it is again! Turning on the peacemaker; Me! Your boyfriend. Nice!” Minho exclaimed happily. Jisung and Hyunjin turned back to each other and stared for just a moment before bursting out laughing. Minho’s overly excited gay reactions were too pure for them to keep their composure. Their foresight had been clouded. For so long they ignored what was clearly in front of them. The act was up. For the first time in months Hyunjin extended a hand for Jisung to accept as a peace offering. Instead, Jisung nearly toppled Hyunjin over with a hug. He was so  _ warm _ , smelled  _ so good.  _ Hyunjin thought he could die happy. They parted and Hyunjin sat back on Minho’s bed. Jisung slouched in his chair, slightly embarrased. The room was still, but none of the same angry energy was hanging in the air. It felt a lot lighter. 

“Are we… really gonna try this?” Jisung asked. His voice had a hint of optimism.

“It can’t hurt, right?” Hyunjin added hopefully. Jisung sighed. He held his head in his hands, shoulders shaking with laughter. Minho and Hyunjin shot each other a glance of concern. 

“Hyunjin?” Jisung asked. Minho looked on. The boy in question, lifted his head from his lap, cheeks pinks. Jisung looked flustered. 

“Yeah?” The boy asked him in earnest. Jisung looked up at the ceiling in disbelief of himself. 

“Oh this is so cringy,” Miho giggled excitedly. Not entirely sure what he was going to ask. The room filled with a pregnant pause. Jisung continued. “Wanna be our boyfriend?” Hyunjin’s eyes went wide. Minho squealed. It didn’t take long for Hyunjin to crack a smile and his shoulders to loosen. 

“Y-yea. Yeah. If it’s alright with both of you. Sure let’s … try this...thing.” Minho hopped up and down excitedly.

“Ahhhh our boy! Our boyo said yes Jisung! Ahhhh!” He toppled into Hyunjin drunkenly and the flustered boy let him. Jisung sighed to himself and moved forward, joining Minho’s cuddle pile. Hyunjin felt safe and warm underneath the boy’s soft skin. He was blanketed in love and for the first time in months, he was okay. 


	3. In Which Hyunjin Finds Out Jisung is Trans and Fumbles Stupidly With This New Information

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This'll probably be the last chapter in this work! (and it has a nice ending yay) School is coming up so until I get myself settled this will be it for yall! As always comments and kudos are welcome! (Minimal proof reading done!)

Although the trio had started dating, Minho and Jisung still hadn’t told Hyunjin about the  _ trans thing.  _ They hadn’t told anyone really. They just hadn’t gotten around to it yet! Minho was worried and continuously encouraged Jisung to sit everyone down and come out to everyone in the group. 

“Come on babe. You know that I was always a late bloomer.” Jisung itched the back of his head. He hated feeling pressured into these things. 

“I know, but Jisung, Hyunjin’s gonna find out eventually. And he’s gotta big mouth so you better hurry and tell the others too.” Jisung rolled his eyes.   
“So then he finds out when he finds out! And it’s not his business to tell the others anyhow!” Jisung sighed exasperated. He didn’t want to be snappy, but it was his only defense.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me young man!” Minho poked a finger into Jisung’s chest and Jisung just rolled his eyes again. He decided he should say something, anything to get Minho off his back. 

“I’ll tell him, all of them. Eventually.” Minho winked and ruffled Jisung’s hair.

“Eventually.” He confirmed. And so it continued like that. A promise of eventually with no real end in sight. Minho constantly reminded Jisung who waved it off.

“Eventually Minho. I’m just not ready.” Minho was tired. He wanted his boyfriend to take action and responsibility for his own relationships with the others, especially their boyfriend Hyunjin. One night when he probed Jisung and got the same response. he added. 

“Listen I know you’re scared, but we can’t keep lying to our boyfriend. Let’s just tell Hyunjin first. We’ll take him on a date, order some drinks, make it really special and comfortable, and then we can tell him. I’ll be there so you don’t have to be nervous. I promise it’ll be okay.” Minho suggested. Jisung looked mortified. He never thought of actually having to face that conversation. His heart fell into his stomach.

“But-” Jisung started. He wasn’t ready. He knew he wasn’t and panic was creeping it’s way up his back.

“But nothing. We’re telling him and that’s final.” Jisung whined and Minho whined with him in a mocking tone, before settling a kiss on Jisung’s lips. Jisung smiled regretfully. Despite his utter sense of panic, there was an odd comfort that nestled into his heart and mind. If Minho was going to be there and believed that he could do it, then what was there to be worried about?

The following day Minho jumped into action. Hyunjin was lying on Minho’s bed scrolling through Instagram while Jisung was at his desk. Minho cleared his throat.

“Hey babe. Let’s go on a date. You pick. I’ll even pay.” Hyunjin cocked an eyebrow at Minho. Jisung looked worried at the sudden initiation.

“Seriously?” Hyunjin questioned. Minho nodded, egging him on. 

“Anywhere you want. Just me, you, and Jisung enjoying ourselves at a lovely restaurant.” Hyunjin hummed hugging a pillow into his chest.

“How about that barbeque place in center city?” Minho nodded. 

“I know that one! I’ll just call to save us a seat!” Excitedly Minho kissed Hyunjin and want off to make their reservations. Hyunjin was none the wiser.

“This’ll be fun right babe?” Hyunjin got up and made his way over to Jisung. He brushed the younger boy’s bangs from his forehead. Jisung smiled nervously.

“Yeah. I think it’ll be fun.” Moments later Minho popped back into the room. 

“We’re booked for tonight at 6!” Jisung had been sipping water, but suddenly choke. 

“T-tonight? Shouldn’t we maybe talk more about this?” Jisung tried not to sound too worried.

“We did. For months,” Minho smiled at Jisung knowingly. “Besides, it’s not every day that we can treat ourselves to some good food now is it? Our job can be tough so let’s take the night for ourselves.” Hyunjin smacked his lips, eager for some good barbeque and stood to give a kiss to Minho.

“Mmm thanks baby. I’ll go shower and change!” Hyunjin escaped the room to get ready while Jisung sat at his desk mortified. 

“Dude! I’m not ready!” Jisung shoved Minho. 

“Dude! You’re never ready! He needs to know and so does everyone else and we’re gonna tell them like civilized adults. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“I get kicked out! Hyunjin breaks up with us! We’ll…” Jisung’s voice got softer as tears welled in his eyes. “We disband.” Minho sighed.

“That’s not gonna happen.” Minho assured. Although, with these new worries in mind, he wasn’t so sure.

“How do you know?!” Jisung questioned. Minho looked at him hurt and a little afraid. Can he read my mind? Minho thought. He responded quickly.

“I just know!” Jisung rolled his eyes and wiped his tears. There was a pause as the shower water started running in the hall bathroom. 

“I’m scared.” Jisung stood and clung to Minho’s frame. Minho hugged the trembling boy close.

“I am too Jisung. Me too.” Jisung separated himself from Minho to wipe the corners of his eyes. He smiled and turned to start picking an outfit from his closet. Then he settled at Minho’s desk to start his make-up while Minho waited for Hyunjin to get out of the bathroom. 

Eventually Hyunjin showed up. His hair was wet and slicked back, a towel around his small frame. Jisung gulped at Hyunjin’s leaned muscles. He was almost positive he was drooling. Hyunjin winked at him then turned his attention to Minho.

“All yours babe.” Hyunjin playfully smacked Minho’s ass on his way out of the room. 

“Aish watch it kid!” Hyunjin giggled on the way back to his room. Jisung sat alone and sighed. leaned back in the chair. 

“This is really happening.” he said out loud to himself. He huffed an anxious breath while staring up at the ceiling. Hyunjin returned silently behind Jisung. He watched as the boy tried balancing a brow pencil on his nose, clearly deep in thought. 

“Having fun?” Jisung leaned too far back in his chair and ended up falling. 

“Uh? What? Yea!” He fumbled with the chair eventually returning it to an upright position. Hyunjin cracked a smirk. 

“Right well. Hurry up! After Minho’s done we should be ready to go. I’m gonna go do my makeup.” Jisung nodded and sat back down. He touched his cold finger tips to his cheeks in an attempt to cool himself down. He got a grip on himself and sure enough Minho finished his shower quickly and soon they were all out the door. 

The opted to walk since it wasn’t too far away for three fit boys. Jisung clung to Minho’s side while Hyunjin walked ahead. He was still a little unsure if he should show affection in public with them or not. Jisung whined into Minho. The older boy just rolled his eyes.

“Baby come on. It really will be okay I promise you.”

“It’s Hyunjin, Minho! He’s gonna say something dumb I just know it. He’s gonna break my heart.” 

“Well if he breaks your heart, he’ll be breaking mine too.” Hyunjin paused at the crosswalk in wait for his boyfriends. He looked back fondly and smiled. 

“Hurry up guys! It’s right down this block.” The crosswalk beeped and Hyunjin jogged over to the other side of the street. Minho and Jisung eventually caught up when Hyunjin was opening the door to the restaurant. He ushered his boyfriends in and Minho told the waiter they had made a reservation earlier. With a smile, she directed the boys to their awaiting seats and ordered their drinks. Jisung looked at Minho hopeful. He smiled radiated back, as they pondered over their meal. 

The drinks started flowing, the meat started grilling. Hyunjin made himself comfortable and took off his hat to brush his hair from his eyes. The steam from the meat made him sweaty. Jisung had been picking at his food while Minho ate comfortably, like nothing was wrong. Jisung felt like he was taking the brunt of the responsibility and he worked hard not to show it. Hyunjin noticed how quiet he was and thought he noticed Jisung;s hand trembling.

“Is something wrong babe?” Jisung looked up to the concerned boy. Minho rubbed Jisung’s tense thighs under the table. Jisung looked to him and Minho nodded encouragingly, hoping that would help. 

“Hyunjin...w-we need to tell you something.” Jisung stammered, instead of looking at Hyunjin, he watched the condensation drip from his glass of water. Hyunjin looked across at his boyfriends, eyebrows raised. Jisung tried to talk, but the words were stuck in his throat like glue. Minho decided a joke would be appropriate to cut the tension in the air. 

“Well he needs to tell you something. I don’t.” Minho pointed to Jisung next to him as if he could have been talking about someone else; just to clarify for Hyunjin. Minho broke out in laughter at his own joke, but neither Jisung or Hyunjin joined in. Jisung turned to Minho who stopped laughing immediately. 

“Thanks. For that babe.” Hyunjin laughed, more trying to quell his own fears rather than from Jisung’s snide remark. 

“I…well. There’s something we need to tell the rest of the group, but we wanted to let you know first.” Jisung started. He thought maybe the heads up would make it go faster, but now he was just dragging it out longer than necessary. 

“I mean…they already know we’re dating. I don’t think they’ll be too surprised.” Hyunjin joked, hoping that was what Jisung was talking about.

“No. Th-that’s not it Hyunjin,” Jisung said softly. He closed his eyes and took a breath. “I’m trans.”  _ Oh  _ Hyunjin thought, but apparently he had said that out loud because Minho was following up with, 

“I..we hope that’s not a problem. It’s just that when we started dating Jisung wasn’t ready to say anything.” Minho rested a hand on Jisung’s thigh under the table. The youngest was visibly shaken in wait for a response from Hyunjin. 

“No no yea I know. That’s so uhm,” Hyunjin coughed awkwardly. Jisung looked at Hyunjin with bright hopeful eyes. “I just I’ve uhm...I’m gay. I’ve never been with a girl.” Jisung’s eyebrows crinkled. He realized his mistake quickly when Minho kicked him under the table.

“Ah! You know n-not that you’re a girl. You’re not it’s... I’ve uhm? Vaginas!” Hyunjin threw his hands in the air exasperated. He chuckled nervously.

“Dude you’re not making any sense right now. Maybe just take a minute? To let it sink in?” Minho offered, but Hyunjin continued to blabber, grabbing for his water.

“Are you guys hot? I’m hot. I’m really fuckin hot!” Hyunjin giggled nervously as he spilled water down the front of his shirt. It was almost too cold for his burning skin. He jumped back against the booth nervously.

“I’m uh… gonna go to the bathroom.” Jisung spoke for the first time in a minute. He excused himself and hurried toward the bathrooms, Minho started after him.

“D-does he use the girl’s bathrooms or guy’s?” Hyunjin attempted a joke. Minho looked at him incredulously.

“You really wanna ask something like that? Right fucking now Hyunjin?” Hyunjin pursed his lips together before letting another nervous laugh out.

“Okay yeah fair. You’re still paying though right?” Hyunjin laughed nervously. Minho shook his head and left Hyunjin all alone at their table to pay the bill. 

With a sigh, Hyunjin paid for their meal, which according to him was stupidly overpriced. He figured he’d wait by the bathroom until they came out. He huffed to himself and scratched his head, thinking he should go in. 

“But which one?” Hyunjin was clueless. He didn’t get it. His whole life he’d been a boy so he used the boy’s bathroom. At one point Jisung probably used the girl’s room, but did he still use it now? Slowly he peeked into the girl’s restroom. A woman at the sink gave him a dirty look so he slammed the door shut, embarrassed. He turned to the boy’s washroom and cracked open the door. He couldn’t see anyone yet, but he heard soft sobbing.

“He doesn’t understand baby we just have to teach him that’s all.” Minho cooed. 

“He thinks I’m a girl! I’m...do I pass? Am I...I’m a girl?” Jisung whimpered. Hyunjin hated to hear him cry. He felt like his heart was being ripped out.

“No Jisung. Not one bit. You’re a handsome young man and you deserve better than to cry in a dirty bathroom stall about it.” They both chuckled at the sentiment. Hyunjin pushed the door open a little further and gently closed it behind him.

“Guys?” He let out. For a second Hyunjin thought maybe he had hallucinated the whole conversation because the room became so quiet, but then Jisung sniffled and opened the stall door. Hyunjin smiled.

“H-hey I’m- s-” Before Hyunjin could finish his sentence Jisung walked up to him and slapped his face. Hyunjin was stunned still. He pointed a finger up in the air. 

“Okay. Fair.”   
“I’m not a girl.” Jisung spat. 

“Yea I get th-.” Jisung slapped him again, this time on the other cheek. 

“Jesus fucking christ are you on steriods? You hit really hard.” Hyunjin licked the inside of his cheek and tasted blood. Minho had to remind Jisung of his own strength. He pulled the angry boy into his arms. The room was silent save for Hyunjin grabbing a paper towel and flooding it with water before applying it to his sore cheek. One patreon came and went, the three boys still staring each other down. After an awkward pause, filled with the sounds of a man pissing, Hyunjin spoke again.

“Look. My reactions were quick and uninformed. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings Jisung. I know you’re a boy. You’re my boy.  _ Our boy.  _ I’m sorry.” Minho nodded in acceptance, Jisung wasn’t having it and started for the boy again. Hyunjin fell back preparing for a hit. 

“Woah Jisung!” Minho pulled him back before he could do anything. 

“Am I a goddamn punching bag?!” Hyunjin exclaimed.

“He needs to know how bad he hurt me!” Jisung fought against Minho.

“I know goddamn it! I said I was sorry please!” Now it was Hyunjin’s turn to come crawling toward Jisung. He kneeled in front of the boy. “Jisung please!” The quick tempered boy reared to punch Hyunjin. “I’m sorry.” Hyunjin let out softly. Jisung crumpled and dropped his fist. Just then, the bathroom door creaked open. A dejected man appeared and just stared.

“You mind taking your perverted sex acts somewhere else? This is a public restroom.” Hyunjin turned back to Jisung and realized his face was level with his crotch before stumbling backward. The patreon left and Hyujin got up. He held back a laugh, and Jisung will never admit it, but he was trying hard not to laugh too. 

The walk home was quick and silent. They reached the dorms not too long after being called out for their suspicious restroom activities. They said a quick hello to Seungmin in the living room.

“Hey have a good date?” 

“Yea was good.” Jisung mumbled back to the curious boy. He was watching something with Jeongin so the curt response went in one ear and out the other. Jisung followed Minho and Hyunjin to Minho’s room, but stopped himself short. He grabbed Hyunjin’s arm.

“Hey uh Hyunjin? Can I see you? In the bathroom please?” Hyunjin looked down at Jisung’s hand and thought maybe he should recoil. Minho paused in the doorway, watching cautiously. 

“Yea sure.” Minho smirked to himself and entered his room.

Jisung lead Hyunjin to the bathroom and locked the door behind him. Hyunjin got a little panicked yet remained sarcastic.

“You aren’t gonna beat me up again right?” He chuckled. Jisung looked seriously.

“No. I- I wanted to apologize for that. It’s not right for me to hit you. I’m quick to anger and I know we used to scuffle before our debut, but,” Jisung started fumbling around in the cabinets. “I think I should start taking care of you. I wanna help you. Not hurt you.” He held up cotton pads and some peroxide. Hyunjin hadn’t noticed but he was bleeding. Jisung’s nails must have caught his skin and peeled some off along with his dignity. Jisung dowsed a cotton pad in peroxide and dabbed at the wound. Hyunjin hissed. Jisung pulled away.

“D-did I hurt you?” Hyunjin nodded.

“Yea. I mean n-no. You didn’t. It just..stings.” Jisung bit his lip.

“I’m sorry babe.” Hyunjin chuckled softly.

“Really it’s fine. I kinda did deserve it.” Jisung’s brows were knitted in a worried expression.

“Hey, hey. You really didn’t.” Jisung rested a hand on Hyunjin’s thigh. They locked eyes before Jisung was leaning in and tasting a wash of metal on Hyunjin’s tongue. The kiss wasn’t the first time they've ever had, but it felt different now. Jisung wasn’t hiding, wasn’t holding back; and Hyunjin loved him deeply, fully. It felt good.  _ Right.  _

“Hmm,” Hyunjin hummed into the kiss. He lifted Jisung up onto his waist. Jisung made a noise of protest. 

“Dude!” Hyunjin giggled. Grabbing the peroxide and cotton from Jisung’s hand and setting it down on the counter. 

“Hush c’mon let’s go to the bedroom.” Hyunjin was already on his way out of the bathroom, Jisung objecting all the way.

“What? No. No no no no no! H-hey put me down. I- we-.” Hyunjin forced the door to Minho’s room open and kicked it shut and locked it behind him.

“Hyunjin!” Minho looked up and smirked.

“Starting without me?” Jisung beat against Hyunjin shoulders. Hyunjin plopped him on the bed next to Minho. Minho winked suggestively at Jisung who grumbled. 

“Wait please!” Jisung’s shaking hands pressed against Hyunjin’s shoulders just when he leaned in for another kiss. Hyunjin sat back and looked at Minho. 

“Maybe you’re breath just smells really bad.” He joked. 

“No i-it’s not that. I’m- not ready.” A pregnant pause filled the room. 

“Oh!” Minho understand and smiled. Hyunjin was far behind however. 

“Am I just that stupid or am I missing something?” Hyunjin asked the two.

“No, you’re just that supid honey. Jisung’s a virgin.” Hyunjin’s pupils dilated.

“Oh! Jesus honey! I’m sorry!” Hyunjin stumbled off of Jisung like he was hot lava, too dangerous to touch. Jisung sat upright and fixed his own hair, smoothed his shirt down. Minho sat up too and put a reassuring arm around Jisung. 

“It’s seriously okay. I mean! We all have our first times and yours hasn’t happened yet it’s normal!” Minho comforted. Jisung could only groan into his hands.

“God you sound like a mom lecturing me jesus fucking christ. I know it’s normal!” Jisung sighed into his hands. Again, the room was quiet, nobody was really willing to utter a sound that might tick Jisung off. Hyunjin quietly stepped forward and touched Jisung’s shoulder. He looked up.

“Babe. I’m sorry. We don’t have to do anything tonight I promise. It’s not weird or anything and when we’re all ready, we can take our time.” Jisun felt a weight off his shoulders. Hyunjin’s words were such a relief. 

“C-can we just cuddle tonight. Maybe some kissing?” Jisung felt embarrassed for even asking. Hyunjin smirked and looked to Minho who confirmed that that’s exactly what they should be doing right now. They all adjusted themselves on one bed, which was quite a struggle. Of course Jisung was in the middle. Hyunjin on his right, Minho to his left and closest to the wall. Once they settled in Minho started teasing his boyfriend. What else was he really there for?

“Hyunjin have you gotten in a good make out session with this one here yet?” Minho kissed Hyunjin over top of Jisung. The boy’s eyes went wide.

“‘This one here’?” He repeated.

“A couple times. Why?” Jisung blushed. 

“Have you found his spot?” Jisung made a squeak in protest. Hyunjin cocked a brow.

“Spot?” Minho smirked devilishly. Jisung flailed as Minho tried to hold him down with tickles and cover his mouth with his hand.

“N-no Minho please! Mhmm!” He protested while Minho silenced him. Minho leaned across Jisung’s chest, half to hold him down, half to whisper into Hyunjin’s awaiting ear. A thick silence hung in the air as Minho’s soft whispers could be heard, but Jisung couldn’t figure out exactly what he was saying. He whined and Minho finally let up. Hyunjin looked like he was carrying the world’s biggest secret with him, so slick, so cocky.

“What did he tell you?!” Hyunjin shushed him with a kiss on his lips. Jisung whined when Hyunjin pulled away. Slowly he licked and then sucked on Jisung’s earlobe, forcing his breath through his nose and into Jisung’s ear. Jisung let out unintelligible garble as he grabbed onto the sheets and Minho’s thighs. 

“See what did I say? Like fucking butter.” Minho uttered. Jisung punched his leg. 

“Oh my fucking god shut up.” He warned, trying to enjoy Hyunjin’s hot tongue and breath. Minho just laughed and rubbed his baby’s thigh. 


End file.
